Ghosting…

By -

 



“If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and move on.”


 I saw this quote somewhere, and in as much as I strongly agree with the post, I also believe that there are arguably situations where it might be the wrong advice.


 I once had a friend who for some reason decided to stop speaking to me. And whenever I try to reach out to him I was snubbed and got no response. I took this personally, given that we had no prior brawl, and there was no reason for such behavior. I had every reason to believe that I was being ghosted, and I believed so. 


But following my gut feeling, I thought I should double-check. So I continued reaching out to him via chats, and eventually, he responded! He said he had been going through a phase of depression following the loss of his mom, hence his silence.


I became so empathetic with him, understanding that I wasn’t actually being ghosted. 


I have since come to learn that our assumptions might not always be right. You can be so sure yet so wrong about someone’s attitude. This is why it is best to take it easy and give people the benefit of the doubt.


Life should not always be tit for tat. 


However, there are circumstances where people need to be placed where they deserve. In a situation where you are 100% certain that you are being ghosted for sure, then maybe take the initial advice, respect the dead and move on. 


LinkedIn Facebook Instagram Twitter 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

CALABAR CARNIVAL 4...THE QUEEN ON FIRE!

By -
Image
Miss Africa 2018 Dorcas Dienda Episode 4. Hmmm, what we did was ludicrous but that was the only option we had. Lucy and I had to share the chair, we sat with half part of our ass. Lol. Fine girls like us. People would sure be staring but watin concern us ,  we just lock up dey do our thing jare. We turned and laughed at ourselves on several occasions and even took selfies and more pictures. Twas really laughable. Lol Las Las sha, a fine nice guy forfeited his seat for us, and then we sat more comfortably, only that we didn't get to watch HANTY Tiwa's performance. *Sad* The show went on as the contestants from different countries stepped out in different attires depicting Africanism... See beautiful slim bullets ...pretty slim tall shawty looking like INEC... repping different African countries. Big Brother's Ebuka was the moderator as well as several international guests and other celebs who occupied the judiciary.  Our Nigerian contestant Chia
Read more

This Gender! (Part 1)

By -
Image
I want to tell you stories about my gender. One happened when I visited Scotland; I’ll tell the others in my subsequent posts. I visited a friend who had two daughters. In her kitchen my friend has this small corner dedicated to her daughter. In that corner there was a “kids kitchen” made of toy pots, gas cookers, utensils etc. She said she wanted her daughter to learn how to cook. So I asked her a question: “If your daughter was a boy will you still buy this toy kitchen for him and teach him how to cook”? She paused and stared at me. With a face like: “what kind of question is that”? She responded and said: “No, I won’t!” “Why should I buy a toy kitchen for my male child”? She asked. And turned to continue cooking. You see, many a time, we as parents and women, including those clamoring “equal rights for women” and those who claim to be “feminist”, we have a huge role to play in this race of “Gender equity and fairness”. It starts from your homes! From the toys you buy your kids,  The
Read more

ONE CHANCE

By -
Image
So it was in the season of “one chance” I took a cab. After normal negotiations, we agreed on price. Quickly dumped myself onto the front seat, as I was itching to get out of the scorching sun! Although I had my sunglasses on, the sun was capable of roasting a whole human being to ashes!  As I was trying to fix my seat belt, I greeted; - “Oga good afternoon o”. And he too responded - “Good afternoon madam’. But instead of beginning the journey, this man was just staring at  me... I paused myself to stare at the ‘starer’.  So to break the silence I asked: “Oga Watin happen na”?   Then he smiled, cleared his throat and adjusted himself; he looked uncomfortable, then he answered with an undertone of mild humor. - Eh..eh... Madam nor vex o, this one wey you cover your face like this so, I kon dey fear o; Before you go kon bring out gun ‘bell up’ me or kon kidnap me’.  I couldn’t hold it in, I burst out in laughter. lol But he continued : ...”Yes o, becaus
Read more

CALABAR CARNIVAL 6...Wahala

By -
Image
Episode 6... 28th December came the big day, The almighty Calabar carnival itself. A festival of culture, colors and life! In fact Christmas Day in Calabar was not as colorful as the Calabar carnival day itself. Xmas dey trek for where Carnival dey,...It was a blast! Just before it’s 1pm when the major routes will be blocked, Lucy and I left early to get our nails and hair fixed. We meandered our way through to Watts market... Hmmmm, coman see babes, see chicks, slay queens, and hardcore Calabar babes with their hairy yellow skin and 'Yam-Legs'...lol, (abeg na joke o) some don dey there since early mor mor! All queued up in the various saloons, either changing their hairstyles, attaching artificial lashes, carving their brows, fixing nails and others doing “bend-down-select”. We wait wait wait ooooo!... Until it finally got to our turn, after hers was done, Lucy immediately rushed off and left me behind cos she was part of the bands participating in the carni
Read more

CALABAR BIKE CARNIVAL 2

By -
Image
Episode 2 ...“Make sure you wear trousers, shoes and a sleeve top too"...I'll be picking you up, we need to go somewhere..." A control I had from a friend, a member of the Calabar bike carnival crew. Where we dey go? I had no clue. But I simply concurred and did as he had advised. In a white sport bike he dropped by By mid afternoon, handing me a helmet and some bike gadgets. -"Hop in". So I joined him. -Hmmm...Prince, where we dey go? As clueless as I was, the response I got was a zuuuuuuuuuuuuum, he sped off. And before I knew it we were in a gathering of other bikers. -Hmmm Prince, you better start talking now o. -Okay... I wanted it to be a surprise, since it's your first time in the Calabar carnival, I felt you should have a feel of the entire celebration by participating, hence you'll be riding with me on the race today... Wawu, what an honor, I was flabberwhelmed and overghasted... Lol Oya na! Naso I turn biker girl o. Lol The race
Read more

ONE BIG FAMILY CALLS FOR HELP

By -
Image
                                            # ONE_BIG_FAMILY   CALLS FOR HELP Still under the protective care of the hospital, Mr Ben Ogar and his family #ONE_BIG_FAMILY is recovering in leaps and bounds. With gratitude to the entire hospital team, social workers, doctors and Nurses. More grace to the director of “Help Without Boundaries Initiatives” Sir Godfrey Ohuabunwa and his team “Christian Missionary Television” CMTV who have actually been immensely helpful in terms of support to the family, providing medications, food, and other items of comfort for the family. God bless you Sir
Read more

PLANTAIN SELLER TURNS ECOBANK AMBASSADOR

By -
Image
Known for their most receptive and hospitable nature, Cross-Riverians are saddled with the flaw of living in their “Comfort Zone”... they ain’t hustlers; not all tho, but a large number. Not as if they’re lazy, I’ll be wrong if I address them as such. But they really do not have the spirit of striving, like, I mean hustling... or I should rather say they’re not industrious or not so business oriented.  No hard feelings, I served there, and not only did I serve there, I also got involved with the life of the people and their overall orientation; and I enjoyed my stay, but truth be told, most of the people doing business there are strangers, especially the Ibos.  But here is one out of the crowd of 'COMFORT-ZONERS'! One who chose to stand out, and have since been a bedrock of inspiration to many!  A young effervescent pretty graduate; She’s the female version of TIMAYA... The PLANTAIN SELLER! Call her madam “Bole” (Roasted plantain)... Call her the GRADUAT
Read more

My HUSTLE

By -
Image
If you see a guy working in a restaurant Or a guy who makes hair A guy who works in a bakery A guy who fixes eyelashes for ladies A guy who does manicure and pedicure A guy who does “Michai” A guy who sells clothes A guy who is a photographer A guy who works in a bakery A guy who is an artist A guy who is a vulcanizer A guy who is a welder A guy who is a cab man A guy who drives keke Even the one wey Dey carry “Konkray” Give him a hug, in fact pay him more if you can, Tell him Bro, you’re the real dude Encourage him You know why? Because they’re the real “HUSTLERS” At least they’re not ROBBERS They’re not RITUALIST *Whispering*...(They are not “G-BOYS) Patronize them and tell them their time is nigh, because the patient dog no longer feeds on bones, na STEW-RICE and TURKEY dem dey chop now. Be consistent because what seems demeaning might turn out be your “MAGA”. Hope you get the message and stop looking at my nails Instagram @diaryofafemale9jakop
Read more

ONE BIG FAMILY...THE PARTY!

By -
Image
We organized a Christmas party to celebrate their recovery and liberation as well as thank God for his blessings. The party was organised by the hospital team and also supported by the 'Help Wihtout Boundaries' Foundation. The event took place on the 22nd December 2018, at the Federal Neuro Psychiatric hospital in Calabar, graced by the head of clinical operations Dr Ekpe, the consultant psychiatrist in charge of their case Dr Oluntoki, Oberiko Progress other doctors, nurses, social workers, guests and other patients in the hospital. You can imagine the feeling of extreme joy Ben and his family had as they celebrated Christmas. To every normal child Christmas is special, it is a season where they look forward to new clothes, an outing and unlimited fun but to these kids Joy, Ebenezer and Joshua who had no idea what Christmas means, nor looked forward to any new clothes, it was an extraordinary occasion and an amazing feeling as they had the opportunity to wear new clo
Read more

Dear International Student...

By -
Image
As you arrive to study in the UK this September, here are a few clues to keep in mind: 1. Have your jackets with you even though it’s summer! It is better to have one and not need it than to need one and not have it. Because you can find summer, winter, and autumn, in one day; There’s nothing as unpredictable as a BRITISH WEATHER! Escalators in some London train stations        2. Just immediately after you alight the plane you’ll be met with long-ass escalators which looks like they’re taking you to heaven. Some of you may already be familiar with them, some may not, and just like me, you may develop a phobia for escalators and feel like you’re gonna fall down when you place your first foot on it, but don’t worry, it’ll soon become your friend.  Stratford Coach Station, London.      3. You’ll begin to hear phrases like "get a coach"!  Don’t look clueless! It’s just another way of saying “get a bus”. Speaking about buses, don’t forget to press the bell as you approach your st
Read more