Open Letter To Dads! Re - Daddy Issues
Many females who grew up with the absence of their father in their life, or grew up with an emotionally unavailable dad, or an abusive father, end up with what is called “daddy issues”.
Daddy issues refer to how a dysfunctional father-daughter relationship affects a female in adulthood.
This situation impact girls or women differently. Some girls/women become overly attached to men, while some become very distant from men.
This over-attachment or over-detachment can have blowback on females.
In the former, such females become so glued to men and so dependent on men, even in cases of abuse; their craving for a masculine presence can blind them to the infirmities of that relationship.
In the latter case, such females become literally scared of men.
They’re afraid to get into relationships because they’re wary of getting hurt by men, some end up hating men and eventually tag themselves as “feminists” (which isn’t what feminism represents).
Some might also become h0m0sexual.
Daddy issues also affect male children too. And have toxic impacts.
OPEN LETTER TO DADS
In the light of the #FathersDay celebration here’s an open letter to fathers:
Dear Dads,
- Normalize saying “I love you” to your children. It won’t make you less feared or less respected. It won’t make you a weak man.
They say “actions speak louder than words” but sometimes WORDS speak louder!
- Tell your children how proud you are to have them in your life! Don’t just show it, SAY it! Especially if you have girls.
- Make it a habit to buy gifts for your children when you can afford to. Also let them know when you can’t afford to buy them, make them understand!
P.S: If your girls get used to receiving gifts from you, they won’t be easily bought over by gifts from random guys.
- Learn to have difficult conversations with your children about: sex education, abuse, rape, etc
- Be an emotionally present dad. Try to know what is going on in your children’s lives. Don’t leave it to their mother alone.
- Try to be that dad who your kids run to embrace when you return from work or travel, instead of them running to their room to pretend to be reading books.
- Make yourself approachable to your kids.
- Be their friend and father!
- Be vulnerable with your children. Show them your weaknesses as well as your strengths!
- Apologize to your kids when you’re wrong. Admit your faults.
You’re not always perfect, you’re human and you err. It makes a huge difference when you take the bold step to apologize to your children!
- Use sweet names for your children: “Asa”, Queen, my love; “king”, my favorite, my baby. Not every time: big head, mumu, idiot, stupid, monkey, and other harmful words. Bad words make kids lose their self-esteem and self-worth!
- Even when they’re adults, make it a habit to phone your children.
- Tell them how much you miss them!
- Lastly, learn to remember their birthdays and phone them on their special day!
Fatherhood is a calling, if you know you’re not ready for that calling please keep your sperm to yourself.
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