Dear Newlyweds…

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Please don’t let anybody pressure you into when and how you should have children. 


Please people should stop having “children-expectation” from newly married couples. 



When a couple is newly married and after a year no child, people start labeling them as though they have fertility issues. 


But that’s not always true.


People have different reasons for not having kids immediately. And one of them is building intimacy. 


📍I think that the first few years of marriage should be used to build intimacy with your partner. 


This intimacy and friendship are what will hinge both partners together in the long run. 


📍Because whether you like it or not, when children start coming it can never be that same. 


There’ll be a lot of distractions and divided attention. 


📍Your Intimacy is more or less like glue in the relationship, and it is pertinent because your children will become adults and eventually leave to stay on their own, and you will be left with your partner, and it is the intimacy you built with each other that will carry you both through the relationships. 


📍It is not as if having children as soon as one gets married is not great, 


but the truth of the matter is that when you have nothing else but yourselves to think about, 


you channel all your energy to yourselves more which helps build intimacy and friendship. 


📍But once you have someone to breastfeed, 


📍someone to take to school, 


📍someone whose cry wakes you up at night, 


the focus is automatically taken away from your spouse to your child. 


📍So newlyweds, please spend time with yourselves before having kids. 


Because trust me, when children come it will never be the same. 


Yes, Children are gifts from God, but you also want to know when to have these gifts, because as cute as these gifts can be, they can sometimes cause distraction. 


Photocredit: Mercy Chinwo and her Husband 



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