"HANGRY" MISTRESS

By -





So famished I had to locate the nearest fast food; simply because I was hoping the food would arrive fast!
Branched off at a nearby outlet, the regular one where they unlawfully wed the noodles with eggs.... yeah - 'michai'!

It was a long wait at the 'michai' shop. All the worms in my stomach became so disrespectful and cruel, oh they lost their conscience!
Dunno why she was taking long to prepare simple 'indomie' and eggs. Common indomie o! SMH!

A Sunday it was, no other close options, so I was left with the only option of waiting! At first she came tossing 'upandan' looking for her match box to put on her gas cooker, then she remembered her vegetable oil just ran out! She’ll have to buy from nearby.
Oh my goodness!

I looked up to the heavens, and down at my stomach, Twas as if an acidic content was poured into my stomach... it was hot and empty!
I became automatically annoyed at whatever met my eyes. Oh quite true - “A hungry man is indeed an Angry man.

 After few wasted minutes of tossing, she began the process. Alleluia!
I guess that’s what happens when a “Calabar chef” takes your order instead of the 'Michai' gurus - the Mallams.
“Fast food” became so slow, even the ‘SNAIL’ was angry that it now had a competitor!

Incompetence!

But what can a "HANGRY" lady do? I was indeed patient, as ten minutes later became twenty five; And finally, the meal arrived!

Served like a bride waiting to meet her groom; it was placed on the table before me, with the fried eggs resting the noodles in peace! The noodles was buried underneath, with the fried eggs spread upon it like a white duvet covering a cold lady.
It was very attractive. I removed the tray of food from the table and placed it on my laps. Yes, I needed to feel it in my bossom. Lol

After a short prayer, I pounced on the food  like a hungry lion. Only God understood the kinda prayer I mumbled under my almost exhausted breath. Because even me, I didn’t hear myself pray! lol

As soon as I started eating, I noticed there was this guy beside me, a Corper tho, he was on his phone chatting on instagram and viewing videos but he was stealing glances at me.

What’s your problem nigga! (Rolling my eyes)

When I noticed, I smiled at him and he responded:
- "Babe this your food make sense o"... I chuckled and replied...

-“Come join me na". (Feigning a smile).

In my thinking, I didn't mean the invite oh, never knew this guy took it so seriously.  He immediately requested for a fork from the shop-owner, and joined my meal. WTF!
Nevertheless, We started digging the meal together. I was calm.

But if he had shown some courtesy, I for nor vex. This guy not only pounced on my food, he actually divided the fried egg spread on the noddles into two, just as Moses divided the red sea, and he ate one half, leaving me with the other.

For my own food again! My goodness!

After exhausting his own portion of 'MY' meal, he quietly applied the 'withdrawal method' and withdrew from the digging. He requested for one "pure water" and gulped it. I was looking at him... Where the F are you from? I said to myself.

Then he said... "Babe thanks o".

I didn't even respond well, I jus dey look the guy.

He then went back to Instagram and continued. On my part, me too after eating, relaxed for a while and began pressing my phone, data was on, so I got a notification from Instagram. Twas a message; so I quickly checked...

The message was from one Emeka guy, I quickly ran through his pictures since his name wasn't familiar; and guess what?

He is the same person I was sitting beside - the guy who had almost finished my food a short while ago. OMG

I was looking at this guy as he was still sitting beside me, seriously sending me messages on Instagram.
The funniest part?... This guy didn't know I was the same person he was chatting with on Instagram. 

See me staring at him. Don't even know what to say to him.
If you were me what would you do?


Follow my diary page on instagram - diaryofafemale9jakopa, Oberiko_pro on Twitter and Progress Oberiko on Facebook.

Leave your comments here!
#ItzPr0gr3X

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ONE BIG FAMILY...THE PARTY!

By -
Image
We organized a Christmas party to celebrate their recovery and liberation as well as thank God for his blessings. The party was organised by the hospital team and also supported by the 'Help Wihtout Boundaries' Foundation. The event took place on the 22nd December 2018, at the Federal Neuro Psychiatric hospital in Calabar, graced by the head of clinical operations Dr Ekpe, the consultant psychiatrist in charge of their case Dr Oluntoki, Oberiko Progress other doctors, nurses, social workers, guests and other patients in the hospital. You can imagine the feeling of extreme joy Ben and his family had as they celebrated Christmas. To every normal child Christmas is special, it is a season where they look forward to new clothes, an outing and unlimited fun but to these kids Joy, Ebenezer and Joshua who had no idea what Christmas means, nor looked forward to any new clothes, it was an extraordinary occasion and an amazing feeling as they had the opportunity to wear new clo...
Read more

UNDER PRESSURE

By -
Image
  Organizations should help us stop lying about this.  As for me, I can’t work so well  under pressure. First of all, why do you want to even put me under pressure? Don’t you know it’ll affect my mental well-being? Come to think of it, a well-organized organization will plan ahead of time, inform their employees, and take the necessary precautions ahead of time. Why are you making it look like an employee is inefficient or incapable if they’re unable to work under pressure? What's the idea behind being able to work under pressure sef? Pressure puts people under tension and anxiety, especially me!  😂   You need to see me when I’m running late for mass, about to miss a train, or late for an appointment; I speak to objects as though they had ears, everything on my way must give way, otherwise, ' wahala ' for them. I’d be speaking to myself, vex anyhow, rush, and just go Gaga!  😂   I remember when I was about to miss a deadline for submitting a project, ...
Read more

MY COMPANION - Tekno K7

By -
I'll be bias if I fail to appreciate you. You have been my only faithful companion in times of boredom, through thick and thin you have stayed by me. You get me busy typing when I'm inspired in my thoughts. I never knew you'd stand the test of time. No laptop, but you permit me to carry out the task of writing lengthy articles; even my keyboard knows my handwriting. You have proven to be that PC that never pisses me. No iPhone but your multitasking ability is amazing. Battery life don dey depreciate, yet you stand the test of time; even with 5percent I'm still jumping from instagram to facebook. Your memory space don hear ' Ween ' because I have stuffed you up with details, upon details, of everything I treasure. Pictures are flowing like streams of living water, my notepad is overwhelmed with stories yet untold. My gossip partner. I could be writing about someone next to me without him knowing. If to say you be human being, by now u for don ...
Read more

THE CHRONICLES OF DAWA-DAWA

By -
Image
(Smells like Sh*t) Dawa-Dawa(Locust beans), as it is locally called, was an indispensable seasoning in all the delicacies I prepared. At first I swore to never have anything to do with it because of the horrible smell that came along with it. "It is a fly lover. Chai the smell na blast!" But this same lady, my customer, convinced me, and also schooled me on the health benefits of Dawa-dawa: in her words, “google it na, Kopa. It is very very good”.  I tried it once, and the taste of the soup was unusually sumptuous. And that marked the Genesis of Dawa-dawa in my life! I even discovered that it has a way of controlling the salty quantity in food. Wow! I found my magic wand; it had no disadvantages, none I have been affected by. I never prepared a meal without a touch of Dawa-Dawa; and like melanin, all the meals I prepared always came out popping. Nobody knew the secret. My love for it increased in geometric progression, to the extent that I not only add...
Read more

BLACK HISTORY MONTH

By -
Image
All my life, I never really celebrated/acknowledged anything such as “Black history month”. Didn’t know about it until recently. And please don’t blame me, it’s not because I have been ignorant it’s just because I was never Black until I arrived in the UK.  🤷🏾‍♀️ This is the same reason a fellow Nigerian who just arrived in the Uk for studies has refused to identify with the term “Black”.  During our conversation, I noticed he deliberately tried to avoid using the word Black to describe himself while sharing his experience. And when I called him Black he bluntly retorted “ Please don’t call me Black, I’m not Black”.  He continued: “ You know back in Nigeria I can’t be described as Black, I’m light-skinned ” .  😅 And I remember laughing out loud and saying to him: “you don’t really have a choice here, you know; whether you like it or not you’ll be addressed as Black”.  I said to him: “ The moment you landed in the UK your identity changed, and with or without ...
Read more

VOLUNTEERING

By -
Image
I want to stress the need for volunteering. Volunteering means offering your skills, time, and resource to the benefit of other organizations or to someone else, without having an interest in being paid. I know that the term volunteering may sound synonymous with “ OSHOFREE ” for some people, especially Nigerians. It’s not your fault. For an economy where people struggle for survival, people will definitely eschew anything that doesn’t put money on their table. But regardless, the importance of volunteering cannot be overemphasized.  Volunteering gives you the opportunity to render service, and at the same time develop your skills. Sometimes our problem is that we focus too much on our stomachs and on immediate satisfaction that we lose out on many other opportunities for growth.   Yes, “man must survive” but there are so many other factors that can contribute to man’s survival, and some of them include: recommendations, improving your cv, building relationships, having goodw...
Read more

This Gender! (Part 1)

By -
Image
I want to tell you stories about my gender. One happened when I visited Scotland; I’ll tell the others in my subsequent posts. I visited a friend who had two daughters. In her kitchen my friend has this small corner dedicated to her daughter. In that corner there was a “kids kitchen” made of toy pots, gas cookers, utensils etc. She said she wanted her daughter to learn how to cook. So I asked her a question: “If your daughter was a boy will you still buy this toy kitchen for him and teach him how to cook”? She paused and stared at me. With a face like: “what kind of question is that”? She responded and said: “No, I won’t!” “Why should I buy a toy kitchen for my male child”? She asked. And turned to continue cooking. You see, many a time, we as parents and women, including those clamoring “equal rights for women” and those who claim to be “feminist”, we have a huge role to play in this race of “Gender equity and fairness”. It starts from your homes! From the toys you buy your kids, ...
Read more